Popular or What’s Best for YOU?

This is a story about not living for what others may think. It is about enjoying YOUR life and doing what is best for you.

My friend Katie is someone who I have always admired!  She is extremely motivated, has always been a career person who is greatly respected. She also has been married for a long time to her college sweetheart and has two great kids.

So, recently Katie had come to me and was talking about how tired she was and miserable in her job.  It wasn’t the job that she disliked, but rather the current management that she was working for.  She was feeling micro managed and she definitely is not the type of person that wants or needs that type of environment to work in. Katie looked very tired and was under a great deal of stress.  So I asked her; what was she going to do?   She said to me that she would like to be home with the kids and not be at her current workplace any longer. Katie expressed how she felt like she was missing out on a lot with her kids; that they were growing up too fast.  But, on the flip side, the money was good where she was at and wondered what others would say (family and friends) if she left?  (She had started telling close people to her about her situation and people thought she shouldn’t leave her career that she worked so hard to build on).

Im-not-telling-you...Well, I looked at Katie and said; “You need to look out for you, what’s going to make you happy and do what YOU want to do.” I know it was a grueling decision for her because she is such the career person and felt torn because of outside pressures.

Well, Katie made her decision.  One day, when her supervisor did something to her that was just over the line, she made a confident decision to give her notice and commit to spending time with her family.   Wow.  I give her so much credit.  Because I knew how hard of a decision it was for her to do this.  But guess what?  I have gotten together with her for lunch since this all happened and even though financially it is more difficult with living just on her husband’s income, she is the happiest and the least stressed I have ever seen her.  GOOD for her!  She made the RIGHT decision for her.

So what can you get out of this story?  If you’re looking to make a big change in your life, ask yourself these three questions.  Discover what is best for YOUR life!

  1. Why are you looking to make a change in your life?  Is it emotion driven, or is there a real positive basis to making this change?
  2. What are the positives and negatives of making this change?  Do the positives outweigh the negatives?
  3. If you make this change, will you have zero regrets? Will you not look back at the past, but focus on the present and what’s ahead?

choices-accept-or-changeLive like Katie! Do what’s best for YOU in life.  Go for what’s in your heart, but be sure you are thinking clearly.  BE SMART!

What do you think of Katie’s story?  Is this something you can relate to?  Is there something that you really need to do to lighten your emotional load and be happier in life?   I would love to hear from you!

SmartChic is all about inspiring you to make smart and confident decisions in your life to achieve the best life! For your next big conference or team member retreat, have Cynthia Bazin as your keynote speaker. She will inspire your team! And get them up and out of their seats! Cynthia@smartchic.me  https://smartchic.me

This article was originally shared on http://lifeloveandmusic.net  Check out their fantastic website today!

2016-11-11T11:55:58+00:00By |Inspirational Articles|40 Comments

40 Comments

  1. Anne May 17, 2013 at 9:29 am - Reply

    Thank you for this post! Having once made the same decision Katie made, I can completely relate to it. I had many people advise me against making this decision, but it felt so right that nothing could stop me. I have often been asked if I regretted my decision and the answer is a resounding NO! It is difficult to go against what everyone is telling you, but at the end of the day, they are not responsible for your own happiness, you are. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Jessica Moss May 17, 2013 at 10:00 am - Reply

    Wow awesome blog!!! I really enjoyed this because I feel as though this is something I will be going through in the next several months which is making the decision to leave my current job and pursue my building my business full time! I commend Katie for doing what is right and to make that decision should be between herself and husband. Money doesn’t buy happiness. At the end of the day WE are the ones who determines what is best for us. Sometimes we can’t share to much w/ family and friends because they are not in your shoes nor do they understand the circumstances. To remain at a job because of pay knowing you are unhappy will cause more problems down the road instead of finding a solution now. Noone cares more about our happiness then us! Go Katie!

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 4:46 pm - Reply

      Thank you Jessica for your comments on the blog. As you make some changes over the next few months, re-read this blog and always remember to do what’s best for you!

  3. Dave Moore May 17, 2013 at 10:06 am - Reply

    Cynthia
    This is a great post and contains some great coaching advice from you. It is very difficult to be objective when we advise a friend as there is an emotional element involved. As coaches we are only interested in what the client wants, happiness or success or both.

    One of the techniques i use is a form of time distortion. I asked a client, who wanted to be more assertive at work, how long he had felt like that and he told me two years. he was always being given extra work and now his job description would cover three pages instead of one.
    ‘Did you feel like this six months ago?’ i asked him
    ‘Yes’.
    ‘What did you do about it?’
    ‘nothing’
    ‘Two years ago did you feel like this?’
    ‘Of course but it wasnt that bad’
    What did you do about it?
    I could tell by the look he understood.
    ‘Two years ago you did nothing which is why you were like you were 6 months ago. you did nothing then which is why you are like this now. Imagine a time in the future, say six months from now. See yourself in six months time, Happier, more content, not stressed, not overworked, not put upon….are you going to be like that if you do nothing again?’
    He laughed.
    ‘you need to do something right now that your future self will look back and thank you for.’

    As you know Cynthia, Life doesnt get better by chance, it gets better by change.

    So many people carry their past around. Worse still, they carry it into their future. What appears to be a big future shrinks because they fill it with their past and then say ‘hey, things are still the same’.

    Your friend is very lucky to have a friend like you, as am I and every one of your followers here.
    Great advice from the Rock Chick!

    Dave

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 4:44 pm - Reply

      Thank you so much for your wisdom. You always have fascinating insight! I appreciate you sharing your thoughts Dave!

  4. Sue Stubbs May 17, 2013 at 10:30 am - Reply

    This is a great blog post for a woman like me. I’ve stayed at home for almost 6 years. I had come to that decsion because my child wasn’t being taken care of right with his medical issues. There have been times I question to continue to stay home is it right for me & I believe that it is for 1 my husband is a truck driver & I need to be available if something would ever happen. And now I’m coming to the point that all my children are in school so I can be there for field trips. Plus not all parents have the time to be there to help their kids with homework & other things or feel rushed but I am available and that a great feeling for my children to know mom always there so it is the Best decision for me along with taking time for me as I have been for 2 years it important that for sure!

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 2:12 pm - Reply

      Thank you so much Sue for sharing your thoughts on my blog. We must do what is best for ourselves. Keep up the positivity and thank you for being part of SmartChic!

  5. LaRae Quy May 17, 2013 at 10:37 am - Reply

    Cynthia

    I love how brave both you and Katie were to step and become vulnerable. You were brave by being direct with her and giving her your honest opinion. And Katie showed bravery by actually making the step.

    I like your questions a lot! I’ve always found it helpful to make a list of pro’s and con’s when making decisions because it’s amazing how lopsided the list can be, and yet there is ONE very important issue on the other side weighing in it’s favor. It can help explain why “something makes sense” and yet “doesn’t feel right.” I’m a big believer in listening to our gut because it’s where our honest emotions can be found.

    Thanks for reaching out and see you on G+!

    LaRae

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 2:11 pm - Reply

      Thanks so much LaRae for sharing your wisdom on my blog. I greatly appreciate it!

  6. Linda Mastroianni May 17, 2013 at 10:44 am - Reply

    Great post Cynthia! I can totally relate to Katie. Often in life, the best decisions we can make for ourselves are also the most difficult ones. I ended a 13 year marriage because I was tired of living a lie. I realized that I couldn’t help someone that didn’t want to help themself. That is when I truly began to live my life. Since then I have founded “SpeakingAutism.ca” to help families dealing with Autism, and I have become a certified life coach” Beyond Today Life Coaching” (website to come soon).
    So if you are afraid of something, go for it. That usually means it’s something worth fighting for. Thanks for sharing Cynthia!
    Linda

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 2:11 pm - Reply

      Thank you for your thoughts and wisdom Linda. I appreciate it SO much! I hope you are very well!

  7. Geoff Conn May 17, 2013 at 10:46 am - Reply

    I can relate to Katie. The last 4 plus years of my professional career have been rocky. My two most recent employers were both micro managers. I couldn’t stand it, especially having had worked for someone for 8 years who basically delegated all responsiblities to me without worrying what I did. My money situation is kinda the same, but like her, I’d much rather not work in those conditions and be a happy person. Thank you for sharing Cynthia.

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 2:10 pm - Reply

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts on my blog Geoffrey. I greatly appreciate you! #1208

  8. Sandra Griffin May 17, 2013 at 11:16 am - Reply

    Thank you sharing Cynthia.
    What a great story and you’d be surprised HOW MANY people are on the same situation. Doing for others or worry what someone else will say or think.

    I’m glad Katie has a friend like you, sometimes we just need someone else to say what our gut feelings are telling us OUT LOUD, to give us straights and courage to do what make us happy.

    God Bless you always Cynthia 🙂

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 2:10 pm - Reply

      I appreciate you taking the time Sandra to comment on my blog. I appreciate you very much!!

  9. Angela Goodeve May 17, 2013 at 12:40 pm - Reply

    You are a Smart Chick! 😉 Isn’t it amazing how just one or two questions can provide so much clarity for someone?!? Your Friend probably knew this is what she had to do already, but may not have gotten there without your support.

    Dave, your comment reminds me of Dr. Phil asking: “How’s that working for you?” Again, just one question like this can shed a whole new light!

    Ang 🙂

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 2:09 pm - Reply

      Thank you so much Angela for your comments on the blog. I very much appreciate it!!

  10. Tom Coleman May 17, 2013 at 12:59 pm - Reply

    Hi Cynthia,

    Love the video intro to your blog and the graphics on this story tell the tale of Katie’s struggle. Katie is lucky indeed to have you as a friend and mentor.

    Sometimes our best laid plans hit a brick wall and we simply need to regroup and rethink how to proceed in designing our life.

    I have always found these principles from Og Mandino lead to a successfully designed life when acted upon daily:

    Today I begin a new life
    I will greet this day with love in my heart
    I will persist until I succeed
    I am natures greatest miracle
    I will live this day as if it is my last
    Today I will be master of my emotions
    I will laugh at the world
    Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold
    I will act now
    I will pray for guidance

    The full script is contained in the 10 scrolls by Og Mandino
    Simply Google it for a free download.

    As Katie steps back and regroups I know with your help she will see how powerful she is and can design the lifestyle of her dreams for income and freedom to be with her family.

    I wish you continued success in empowering people to achieve their life dreams and goals.

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 2:08 pm - Reply

      Thank you Tom for sharing your comments on the blog. I very much appreciate it and I appreciate you!!

  11. Brad Hanson May 17, 2013 at 1:52 pm - Reply

    Hi Cynthia,

    Katie is lucky to have a friend like you. You helped her find the questions, not the answers. Now she is doing the most important job in the world.

    You are a special one, msmotivation.

    Brad

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 2:07 pm - Reply

      Brad, it means the world to me for you to comment on my blog. You are top notch and I thank you!

  12. Tracy Rex May 18, 2013 at 5:16 am - Reply

    Kudos, Katie! I so agree with her decision…. and did very similar myself. I walked away from my career in 2002 to focus on my family for 8 years. I chose to be a stay-at-home-Mom during this time….. and have ZERO regrets. I’m blessed with two smart, healthy, happy, passionate sons. Being a SAHM was the hardest job I’ve ever had. In 2012, I returned to my previous employer. Now, my career is far and away better than it was when I walked away from the Corporate World. I could not ask for more and consider myself blessed to be walking in my shoes each and every day. Don’t look back, Katie….. run the direction you want to head! To all: follow your passion…. and your heart! TRex

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 2:07 pm - Reply

      Thank you Tracy for your comments! And hooray for you for doing what is best for YOU! I appreciate you Tracy. Thank you!!!

  13. Dana May 18, 2013 at 7:08 am - Reply

    Wonderful Post Cynthia! Good for you Katie!

    At times I believe it is up to us to do what we need to do when we need to do it. Sometimes it requires us to change paths even though it was not planned. With children myself I have had to make adjustments and they have required me to leave a place of employment to pursue a dream and/or do what was best for my family. I believe we are in control of our happiness and YOU are making the right choice. Keep your head up and you will not regret it. Best part is you have such a great resource in Cynthia and now the rest of us to tap into when you need a boast! Good luck in your journey!

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 2:06 pm - Reply

      Thank you Dana for your feedback on my blog and sharing your wisdom with all of us. I appreciate you my friend!

  14. Amir Najmi May 18, 2013 at 8:34 am - Reply

    Great post Cynthia. I think a lot of people find it hard to make decisions like Katie did. Nowadays, it’s about sticking through a job you’re unhappy with but that’s not what people should be focused on. Money is not worth time away from being happy with yourself and family.

    -Amir

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 2:05 pm - Reply

      Thank you for your comments Amir. I really appreciate you sharing your wisdom here. I hope you are doing very well!

  15. Wonderful post! Re-awakened the memory of my big moment 25 years ago.

    My favorite part of this post: “I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy, I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it!”

    The best summary of what commitment to change is all about. Bravo!

    I left corporate America 25 years ago and started my own business. It wasn’t easy yet it was beyond worth it! My adult life started when I courageously did what I needed to do — in the face of much ridicule and naysayers.

    Now my advice to people is:
    ===
    “Naysayers are hitchhikers that detour your dreams. Drive past them!”

    And as for what it’s like to be self-employed, I tell them it’s the toughest hard work you’ll ever love IF that is the life (not the job) you want.

    As for “popular”, to me it’s a club of insecure people who need others to validate their view of the world by being like them. Popular is actually an imaginary concept not a reality. So why invest your life in something that isn’t real?

    Listen to your inner voice, think through the impact, and live your dreams.

    Kate

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 2:05 pm - Reply

      Kate, thank you for sharing your wisdom here on my blog. I appreciate it very much and I appreciate you. Thanks again!

  16. Wendy May 19, 2013 at 6:04 am - Reply

    Cindy continues to WOW me! Another awesome message that hits home once again. I have some personal “goings on” that I need to make decisions on that are best for me. Why do we find it so hard to do this? Our culture, our upbringing? I needed this inspiration to keep “me” in mind when making any and all decisions. I actually have a picture up on my wall that says “I never said it would be easy, only that it would be worth it”. Seeing that once on your blog reminded me of it, and I have put it in the bathroom now so I will see it every morning to remind me. Thank you Cindy, I needed this to help keep me strong!

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 2:04 pm - Reply

      Thank you Wendy for sharing your thoughts as a result of reading my blog. Yes, always remember to do what is best for you. Be well my friend and know how much I appreciate YOU!

  17. Noel Neu May 19, 2013 at 5:16 pm - Reply

    Great work Cynthia! I agree that you have to be true to youself to really be happy. Your friend Katie was able to reach into her truth without judgement or guilt as you provided an open environment for her to contemqte and then make her decision. Sometimes sacrifice is required, however, there has to be some type of intrinsic reward for a person to continue with their sacrifice. Without this a person does not live their truth and cannot be at their optimal best as a parent, spouse, employer, employee or any other position in life. Walking through the fear that “shoulds” create is critical to finding, speaking, and ultimately living your truth.

    Once again, nice work Cynthia and I appreciate your positive truthful approach.

    -Noel

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 2:02 pm - Reply

      Noel, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. I am grateful for our connection and it means so much for you to share your thoughts on my blog. Thank you!

  18. Carla Horn May 20, 2013 at 6:57 pm - Reply

    Loved it Cynthia!!! Thanks for reminding us about what really matters!!!! Always be true to You ~ Your dreams & desires are unique and important … follow them no matter what!!! :)) Thank you my Friend!!!

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 2:01 pm - Reply

      Thank you Carla for all your positivity! I appreciate your thoughts on the blog and I am just so grateful for our connection!

  19. Etiedidiong Davis (Etibom) May 21, 2013 at 3:00 am - Reply

    Powerful blog in deed Cynthia, we cannot continue living our lives for others to be comfortable, we live our lives, doing what’s BEST for us, sometimes it might hurt those around us. If It’s definitely what’s going to make our inner self happy, and not unhappy, YES we go for it and make it happen. Happiness, inner joy, peace, is all that matters TO ME!! If what I am doing is not associated with all of these characteristics, I WILL QUICKLY FIND ANOTHER ROUTE, or look for what’s going to be BESt for me. Lovely post and wonderful blog! Thank you for sharing with us, and giving us the opportunity to share too! Blessings to you wonderful Smartchic 🙂 loveyou for your great motivation and positivity. Follow your heart, do not look back, great things ahead.

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 1:56 pm - Reply

      Thank you so much Etiedidiong for your wonderful wisdom and positivity. I appreciate everything about you and am so glad we are connected!

  20. Franca Adamus May 24, 2013 at 11:39 pm - Reply

    Great post Cynthia!

    You’re a great friend to Katie by telling her she needs to look out for herself and do what makes her happy. You only got one life to live. So you have to live it your way, make the right choices and live without regrets. If there is one thing you cannot buy or get back, it’s time.

    FAB weekend!, Franca =)

    • SmartChic June 1, 2013 at 1:55 pm - Reply

      Thank you Franca for sharing your thoughts on my blog. How true that is… that we cannot buy back our time in life! I appreciate you my friend. Thanks again for everything!

  21. Michelle Krieger June 2, 2013 at 8:34 am - Reply

    Kudos to Kate for making the tough decisions and doing what was best for her and her family! Sometimes we have to take a step back and ask ourselves “What do I really want out of my life?”! I think most of the time we are surprised by the answers we find when we do that!

    I was faced with a similar decision a little over a year ago. I had been working for the same business as a waitress for the last 15 years, and had been in the industry for close to 25 years at that point. It was comfortable, familiar and safe, I was paid reasonably well as far as the food industry goes, but it certainly not what I had expected my life would be like when I walked out of my High School with my diploma and prepared to go to University! I can’t say that it was particularly fulfilling or challenging (except on my nerves)!

    When my Father’s ongoing battle with cancer took a bad turn last year I made the hard decision to leave my job in order to be at home with him full time. I’m happy to report that, while given his age he won’t ever get back to his former vigor, he has made a remarkable recovery. A recovery made possible, in no small part, by my being able to be with him all the time to look after his needs. He won’t ever be cancer-free, he has lymphoma, but it does go to sleep for periods of time. I will be forever grateful for every extra day I have had with him because of the decision I made!

    Leaving my job when I did also gave me the time to work on building a health and wellness business I had just started. Now, a year or so later, I can see the results of putting more effort into that. I haven’t replaced my income entirely yet, but it’s growing all the time. And I have the satisfaction of knowing that now I help change lives, help people better their health, instead of serving them the very things that helped to take their health away in the first place!

    In closing…Was it an easy decision to make? No. Does my bank account thank me? No. Am I happier than I’ve been in years? YES! Would I do it again?? YES, in a heartbeat!!! Don’t be afraid to take those big steps, those big leaps of faith! More often than not, exactly what you need is waiting right on the other side!

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