The Word “No” is a Very Positive Word

Are you a people pleaser? Do you think and do for others before you do things for yourself? Are you a “yes” person, typically always accepting invites or volunteering yourself even when you might not really want to do the activity?

Why do you say yes to stuff when you really want to say no?  Were you raised feeling like that’s the polite thing to do; that in order to be a good person, you need to always give to others first? I absolutely believe that a big part of our lives needs to be about contributing and giving, but in order to be of great benefit to others, we need to take care of ourselves first. And one of the things we have to do from time to time is say “no” to others.

Saying the word “no” is a very positive thing in my mind! Let me give you a few reasons why!

Why the Word “No” is a Very Positive Word

  1. You Are In Control of Your Life – When you say “no” to something that you really don’t want to do, it shows that you are in control of your life. And that’s the best feeling when you know you have choice. And you DO have choice.  In the beginning, it will probably be hard to say no to things if you are not used to doing it, but it will get easier as you do it more.
  2. Keep Focused on Priorities  – By saying “no” to certain activities that don’t fit into the well-being of your life, it makes you keep focused on what’s really important in life.
  3. Self-Care  – It can be very stressful sometimes when you are constantly doing things for others and only doing it because you would feel bad or guilty if you said no. You must be your top priority in life. Taking care of yourself is so important.
  4. Live with No Regrets -Life is too short spending your time doing things that are not enriching your life.  Live your life with zero regrets. Spend a lot more time doing what makes you happy.

When you really start realizing how short life is and the need to prioritize your life, it becomes a little easier to say no to things that don’t fit into your life focus.  What are some things that you say “yes” to, that really need to be a “no”?

Remember; if it’s not an absolute yes, think before you commit, because it probably should be a “no”. =) I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic!

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2016-11-11T11:56:01-07:00By |Inspirational Articles|16 Comments


  1. Jessica Moss July 10, 2012 at 6:13 am - Reply

    Great article! Saying no also builds up self discipline and willpower!

    • SmartChic July 10, 2012 at 6:18 am - Reply

      Thanks Jessica!! I appreciate your note! Have a fantastic day and thanks for being part of SmartChic!

  2. Tracy L Cotton July 10, 2012 at 6:31 am - Reply

    It is much easier to say no than to realize weeks or months later that you can’t fulfill your commitment to whoever/whatever. I hate to disappoint but better to do it initially than to just “fill” an opening. None of us is an endless resource (although the more I love the more I find the capacity to love more) and we should focus our energy where we can do the most good and fits our needs best.

    • SmartChic July 10, 2012 at 7:17 am - Reply

      Great thoughts Tracy! Thank you!

      • Geoff Conn July 10, 2012 at 7:30 am - Reply

        So true Cynthia. I am a naturally kind and giving person at heart, so at times saying NO can be difficult. But I do realize that you can’t do everything for everyone all the time. But I do think it is important to help others in moderation.

        • SmartChic July 10, 2012 at 9:29 am - Reply

          Thanks Geoffrey for your comments. I greatly appreciate them! Yes, I 100% agree that it’s very important to help others….To give is to really receive. We just need to makes sure we are taking good care of ourselves and when we say “yes” to something, we feel good about that decision! Have a fantastic day and thanks for always being so great. =)

  3. Wendy July 10, 2012 at 7:31 am - Reply

    Great comments from everyone… I know that I used to be REALLY bad about never saying “no”…and it has taken some serious focus and willpower on my part to learn to say that two letter word. And boy does it feel good when I do say “no” when it needs to be said…I get real proud of myself!! “No” truly can be so very positive in our lives…SmartChic’s take care of themselves first!

    • SmartChic July 10, 2012 at 9:23 am - Reply

      I love it Wendy! Yes, of course it’s so hard to say no sometimes.. but we really do have to do it for our own quality of life. Here’s to taking control of our lives by saying “no” sometimes!!

  4. Andrea July 10, 2012 at 9:00 am - Reply

    So very true it is great to be reminded that yes is not always the word that brings a bout the greatest rewards.

    • SmartChic July 10, 2012 at 9:20 am - Reply

      Thank you for your comment Andrea! Here’s to doing more of what makes us happy!!

  5. Amir Najmi July 10, 2012 at 10:46 am - Reply

    This is a great article. Going to pass this along to my sister who can’t say no to anyone.

    Most people that say yes to everything think that people will respect them more but it’s the opposite. Saying no in my opinion gives off a better image because people naturally respect someone who puts themselves first.

    • SmartChic July 10, 2012 at 10:51 am - Reply

      Perfectly said! I really hope your sister enjoys the article. Thank you so much for your comments and connecting with me. I am looking forward to staying connected!

  6. Neil Denny July 27, 2012 at 7:37 am - Reply

    There is a fantastic book that I often recommend by William Ury, called The Power of Positive No. He gives a good practical model for building up the resolve and determination to say no, and then deliver that No in a way that is compassionate and builds the way for future Yesses.

    I use it myself, but now that I think about it, not as often as I should.

    Blast. This self awareness is an uncomforatble thing sometimes, isn’t it?

    • SmartChic July 27, 2012 at 9:32 am - Reply

      Thanks so much for your comment Neil! I am going to check that book out! Have a fantastic day!

  7. Bruno Coelho (@bcoelho2000) August 27, 2012 at 9:10 am - Reply

    Loved this!

    I’m in the business of unleashing people’s potential and so… it breaks my heart when I have to say NO to fantastic offers, that people I care show me.

    Allow me to add my take and hopefully contribute to this already awesome post.

    For me, this issue is attached to fear. Fear of what others might think. Fear of how others might react. Fear how ourselves would respond to what comes after we say no. Fear of disappointment.

    We can overcome this fear by (paradoxically) face it more often and realize that we can handle it better than we thought. Also, if others respond badly to our decision to take care of our well being… then they aren’t really worth our energy, right?

    This is something that I’m working on my own self-leadership journey. What I’m discovering is that knowing how to say NO is more important than saying YES! Because if we say YES to every offer or shinny new path that appears… we’re not leading ourselves to anywhere… we’re like a boat with no Captain. It’s time to rise up and become the Captain of our own Life!

    Now, saying NO to everything is just as bad as saying YES to everything. The key is simple (once you know it): know where you’re going!

    If it helps move towards your destination: say YES. Else, say NO! If it compromises your Integrity, say NO. If it’s exactly what you need (but not exactly what you want), say YES!

    Hope this makes sense 🙂

    And thank you one more time for sharing your wisdom with us!

    • SmartChic August 27, 2012 at 9:30 am - Reply

      Bruno, thank you for sharing your thoughts and your wisdom with all of us! Great stuff! Thank you!

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